Merry Christmas, Love
by HoopBanana
Summary: Fluffy Sparramaria Christmas one-shot. Jack asks Ana to cook Christmas dinner, with varying results...


**Just a quick thing I thought I'd write. Reviews make perfect Christmas presents for me!**

Merry Christmas, Love

"Anamaria?"

She tore her gaze away from the horizon to look at the man who was shouting her. Captain Jack Sparrow was stood by the mast, the twinkling spark in his eye and his cheeky smile telling her he was up to something.

"Aye, Captain?" She responded automatically, but not without badly disguised suspicion in her voice.

The captain chuckled as he meandered his way across the deck towards where she stood on the quarterdeck at the helm. "Don't look so mistrustful. I've only a favour to ask of you."

Anamaria raised her eyebrows as he finally reached her. To Jack, a favour was more like an order. "Yes?"

"Well, it's been a long while since we had some…_festivities _aboard my ship, and I was wondering if you might like to assist in spreading the cheer." Jack was sugarcoating something again, Anamaria thought. She knew the signs well.

"Festivities, sir?" Anamaria's brow creased in confusion.

"Anamaria, you do know what day it is, don't you?" Jack looked surprised.

"I stopped keeping track of the date long ago, sir," she admitted.

"Why, it's Christmas Eve, of course!" Jack spread his arms wide as if to embrace the coming holiday.

"I never had you down as one of the Christian type, Captain," Anamaria tried hard not to sound sardonic.

Jack looked embarrassed now, and shuffled about on his feet. "Well, I posed as a cleric once, if that's what you mean," he said bashfully. Anamaria rolled her eyes when he wasn't looking. "Let's get to the point!" Her captain continued sharply. "I need you to help."

"What do you want me to do?" Anamaria asked exasperatedly. This Christmas thing was clearly going to be one of Jack's less brilliant ideas.

"Well, you are a woman aren't you?" he asked.

Anamaria gestured to her body. "Evidently."

Jack grinned as his eyes roved over her figure. She glared at him. "And apparently all women can cook…"

Anamaria's eyes widened until they resembled dinner plates. "You want me to cook? Are you insane?"

Jack's beam broadened. "Quite possibly, love."

Anamaria huffed impertinently. Jack clearly had his mind set on this and was not going to budge. "Fine, I'll cook you your bloody dinner. But these festivities had better be worth it. Will there be rum?"

Still grinning, Jack replied, "Plenty."

Anamaria nodded slightly and stalked off to sulk, but maybe, with the promise of rum, this Christmas dinner thing would just be bearable.

* * *

The rest of Christmas Eve passed all too quickly for Anamaria. Soon it was the morning of December 25th, and she had a Jack Sparrow impatiently knocking on her cabin door.

She opened it angrily, her hair sticking up in a birds' nest and her shirt half tucked into her britches. "What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

In the midst of the moment Anamaria had forgotten how to treat a captain, but thankfully Jack seemed unconcerned. In fact, he seemed like he was trying hard not to laugh. "I can see that," he said aptly. "But you need to be up now."

"What on earth for?" Anamaria was incredulous. Then she remembered the promise she had made yesterday. "That stupid dinner thing? It can't require me to get up at such an early hour!"

Jack stared at her. "Then you can't know much about cooking," he said. "You have to warm the oven up, de-feather the turkey, prepare the stuffing, cut and chop the vegetables…"

Anamaria cut him off. "I'll be cutting and chopping _you _in a minute if you don't let me sleep in!"

"Please, Ana. You agreed." Jack looked pleading.

Anamaria raised an eyebrow. Jack Sparrow, begging? There must be something else on his mind.

"If I need to get up before sunrise, you can forget it," she said stiffly, making to close the door, but Jack wedged himself around the frame.

"_Please_," Jack wheezed squeakily. He looked like a little child asking for a toy. He seemed so angelic that Anamaria actually caved in.

"All right," she said with an air of resignation. "Just because it's you, but don't for a second think I'm happy about it."

"Wouldn't dream of it, love." Said Jack breezily. Anamaria retreated inside her cabin to get changed, but Jack called to her. "Oh, and one more thing."

Ana peeped out from around the doorframe. "What?"

Jack beamed roguishly. "Good luck, love."

Ana smiled back at him and closed the door, sighing to herself. While she was getting dressed, she couldn't help but pontificate on how darn handsome he was.

* * *

Soon after, she found herself in the galley, surrounded by the many instruments of cuisine, some of which were unknown to her. Jack had thoughtfully laid the ingredients out ready for her on the large slab-like food preparation table. She didn't actually know where to start.

Anamaria did not enjoy struggling with the turkey in the least. By the time she had it ready for roasting, she had already used up an hour of her time!

In a panic, Ana haphazardly sliced and diced the vegetables (potatoes, sprouts, carrots, peas, cauliflower and broccoli, some more liked than others) and boiled and roasted and simmered them respectively.

Then she tackled the Christmas cake, carefully measuring out sugar and flower, before she cracked and egg into her mixture only to discover too late it was rotten. She would have to start over again, wasting more of her precious time.

By the time she staggered into the mess hall, her arms laden with heaving platters of Christmas fare, the crew were noisy and hungry. She laid out her offerings on the table with as much pride as she could muster. Some of the crew tucked in, but Jack boycotted the food with a dubious glance, opting to drink from a bottle of rum instead.

Ana confronted him. "Is my food not to your liking, sir?" She prompted, her voice haughty.

Jack looked at her with a queasy uncomfortable grimace. "Love, I'm going to be frank with you," he said, taking her hands in his. She looked at him, confused, but didn't pull away with a glare of repulsion. Jack took this to be a good sign. "I would love to try your Christmas banquet, but I fear that as you have roasted the sprouts and boiled the stuffing, your feast may be a health hazard."

Retches and heaves were starting to erupt all over the table.

Ana clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh, my," she said.

"Don't worry, love," he said, patting her hand in what he thought was a comforting way. "I knew you'd mess it up, anyway."

Big mistake.

"What?" Ana exclaimed, retracting her hands from his grasp.

Jack cringed, realizing his error. "That is, uh… I guessed when you said you didn't know why you had to make an early start!" He thought he had salvaged the situation, but Ana wasn't fooled.

She slapped him soundly across the face.

"Alright, maybe I deserved that," he said, rubbing his tender cheek.

"I hate you, Jack Sparrow! Hate you, understand?" Ana finished screaming at him and flounced out of the room, her head held high. Most of the crew stared at Jack.

"Captain," He mumbled. "Captain Jack Sparrow."

* * *

Jack couldn't get Ana off his mind for the rest of the day. He didn't want her to hate him. Far from it. He wanted her to _like _him, but she never seemed to, no matter how hard he tried.

By sunset he was standing outside her cabin holding two bottles of rum and begging for forgiveness.

"Come on, love, open up. I brought rum!" He tried to entice the fuming woman out of her cubbyhole without success. The door opened a fraction, a hand darted out, snatched one of the bottles of rum, disappeared back inside, and the door slammed closed again.

Jack smirked despite the situation. "Very funny, love, now _please _let me in."

He heard a sigh, a scuffle, and then the door swung open before him, even the creak of its hinges sounding reluctant.

Ana was still fuming; he could tell. Her arms were folded and her face set in a stony expression. She held the stolen rum bottle in her hand; already it was half empty.

Jack chuckled and spread his arms. "Pirate."

To this day he still doesn't know why, but Ana rushed into his arms and flung her arms around his neck. He returned the embrace as best he could in confusion. He planted a kiss on the top of her head and whispered three words into her ear which really made that Christmas special:

"Merry Christmas, love."


End file.
